If you have a reactive dog, and all you want to do is go for a walk like other “normal” people, or have visitors over, I get it!
What if it’s possible to stop the loop of trying to figure it all out, and set everything on the right path again?
Having a reactive dog can definitely put a strain on our lives, and our ability to do the things we want.
You do not have to fix your dog to enjoy life with them!
Of course I’m not suggesting you never work on it, never try to improve, but there’s no need to put off enjoying life until “someday” when fido is fixed.
There are things you can do with your dog, exactly the way they are, to find common ground, and do things that you and your dog love.
Stop focusing on what you CAN’T do together, and start focusing on things you CAN do.
Embrace the present moment of life with your dog, without waiting perfection. It's natural to wish for a calmer or less reactive dog, but happiness lies in appreciating your dog's current quirks and qualities. Instead of fixating on what your dog cannot do, whether it's being calm around other dogs or not getting upset in certain situations, shift your focus to what they can do. Every dog has unique abilities and behaviors that make them special.
Start by acknowledging the things you and your dog have in common.
Maybe you both love exploring nature, cuddling on the couch, going on picnics, or hanging out in the backyard. These shared activities create joy and connection that strengthen your bond. By participating in activities that both you and your dog enjoy, you build trust and understanding.
This mutual enjoyment fosters resilience in both of you, as you navigate challenges together and celebrate successes, no matter how small.
When you concentrate on what your dog can do and find pleasure in those activities, your dog will likely surprise you with their adaptability and willingness to learn. As you both grow happier in each other's company, you'll discover that your dog is capable of more than you initially thought.
Start living your best life with your dog, right now.
You won’t ever regret finding ways to increase the joy between you.
A few years ago, a colleague asked me to send her something that described what I do.
I responded with “I help dog parents enjoy life with their dog, right now”.
Living with a dog who was reactive to dogs and people, I was very familiar with the isolation and frustration that came with having to withdraw from activities that met my own needs. I wanted him to live a full life, and have as many experiences as possible, but finding time to do seperate outings was challenging.
So, I stopped focusing on "fixing" my dog's reactivity, and started doing things that he could already do, that met both our needs at the same time.
Once we were both much more relaxed and enjoying life together, we learned a few more skills that allowed us to stretch and go into slightly more challenging environments.
This way of being together is what I wanted to bring to my clients because this is why we get a dog in the first place.
Another colleague recently described me as "the MacGyver of dog solutions". We laughed, but helping clients discover the things they can start doing with their dog right away that will build joy and confidence between them, is what I set out to do as a professional.
If everyone's needs are being met, the pressure to change things quickly is relieved, and often this alone is all that's needed.
EXAMPLES OF HOW TO MEET BOTH OF YOUR NEEDS AT THE SAME TIME
Maybe you like to explore nature, and also find a few quiet moments to recharge. If your dog struggles with other dogs, and your local parks are busy, taking time out for outings for both of you seperately might not be possible. But, finding an alternative place to go, and at a time that is much quieter, can give you an immediate way to meet both your needs.
You could later learn more skills for supporting your dog in a tight spot, or teach your dog a solid recall, for a game changing way to increase your options.
Depending on your dog’s energy level, it might also be helpful to teach some active games to help satisfy exercise needs, or some scent challenges to slow the world down for your dog so they can take in information without getting too excited.
Having these types of alternatives available leaves alot of room for tailoring your outings to meet your own needs as well as those of your dog, and opens up possiblities for visiting different environments.
Most importantly, if you choose to learn or teach new skills in order to open up more possibilities, choose ones that feel natural and that your dog is happy to investigate.
If you prefer to walk socially with friends and their dogs, but your dog is challenged by the presence of other dogs, doing that at a distance with trusted friends will help you both meet your needs. Skills can be learned going forward that build confidence, and help decrease the distance at which your dog is comfortable, all while meeting your need for social contact and camaraderie.
If quiet time with your dog is what you both love, there are many ways to make it enjoyable for both of you. Setting up a sniffari for your dog, while you enjoy breathing excercises, meditation, or yoga nearby, could be just the ticket you need. You may even find that your dog happily joins in for the calm connection.
ADDITIONAL WAYS TO BRING MORE JOY INTO LIFE WITH YOUR DOG
Play! Any kind of play that you both enjoy. Playing is the best way to combat stress.
Sing to or with your dog. Make up silly songs!
Dance with your dog, gently encouraging to move around with you, or simply laughing and making happy faces.
Future blog posts will expand on the concepts of reactivity, anxiousness, and over excitement. Subscribe here and make sure you don't miss them!
If you missed the blog on the difference between Excited and Anxious Reactivity, here is the link:
For a deeper look at Excited Reactivity, click here:
For understanding anxious and fear reactivity in dogs, click here:
The story of my reactive dog's gift to me:
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You can also work with me, and my services can be found with the following links:
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